I might be manic

If you suffer from panic and anxiety, you know the depths that one will go to find relief.

As someone with anxiety around bumps and thumps in my body, I have had about every test known to rule out issues.

One by one I’ve picked my fears apart only to worry about human error during testing and have to start the process over.

Right now I’m back to stroke.

I have dizzy spells. My heart and pulse as well as pulse ox are fine. So secretly in the back of my mind I have renewed my worry over stroke, even though I meet none of the criteria.

Yesterday it was diabetes. I stopped at Walgreens and bought a $10 glucose meter that came with a starter pack of test strips. My glucose is nornal. On I go.

I was dizzy most of the day so I went back and picked up a $79 pulse ox machine.

Tested fine all day.

So as I’m elated because head to toe everything has come back normal, these dizzy spells faded and returned a touch here and there. I diagnosed neck tension and ear issues. I can cope with those. But secretly in the black corner of my mind lurked stroke….

This morning I wake up. Test pulse ox, glucose yes, still good.

Stroke lurks….

Mind you, my original fear has been heart attack….with a twist of aneurysm and peppering of stroke.

I wonder what happens that makes us go from elated that I (for a few hours) finally believe I’m healthy to….stroke.

I was very excited at the prospect of a calm peaceful “normal” day today…. Now I need to reresearch stroke…..

My work us never done


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