Panic & Pain

For someone with panic like mine, pain can send you in a tailspin. I’m semi-in one now.

I have PVC, PAC heart beats. Irregular beats that are extra or skipped. Apparently they are very common but not felt. That’s the catch. You, reading this right now, may likely have them and be blissfully unaware.

My last doc said it like this. “If I pulled 60 people off the street, 40 have them. Of that 40, 15 feel them. We don’t know why but you’re in that 15. Of all 60, less than 1 has a true issue. You’re fine.”

I don’t feel fine, I feel fearful. When I have Sharp pains in my chest on the left side, and I do mean Sharp….I am afraid.

I don’t want to die. I feel like I’ve served no true purpose to God yet. If I die now, its a waste.

My prayers are spent wondering what it is that I can do, praying for the people in the world and praying for myself too.

God, my prayer is that each person finds every other, worthy. Agreeable and with an abundance of patience.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s