Today is the day I reenter the same business world that just about drove me over the edge with stress, game playing and maliciousness.
I wish I didn’t have to go.
My fear is that I’m not ready and I’m making a huge mistake.
My worry is that they have gotten worse and I will, once again, pay the price.
My terror is that I will be standing in the middle of it all and fall totally and completely apart, like a worthless used up human version of Humpty Dumpty.
“Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king’s horses and all the king’s men
Couldn’t put Humpty together again.”
Should I be excited? I think apprehensive is understandable and advised.
Truth be told; I feel like a battered and wounded vet being sent back to the POW camp as a “guest”.
Upsetting, unnerving and disappointing.
I have to have a job. It’s what I do but I’m still not me. I have productive moments followed by bouts of swirling rooms and other scary symptoms.
Sure panic isn’t prevalent but anxiety has made itself at home.
I wait for the familiar ring of the alarm telling me its time to go to…….
To be determined