Hi Ho

It’s here.

Today is the day I reenter the same business world that just about drove me over the edge with stress, game playing and maliciousness.

I wish I didn’t have to go.

My fear is that I’m not ready and I’m making a huge mistake.

My worry is that they have gotten worse and I will, once again, pay the price.

My terror is that I will be standing in the middle of it all and fall totally and completely apart, like a worthless used up human version of Humpty Dumpty.

“Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king’s horses and all the king’s men
Couldn’t put Humpty together again.”

Should I be excited? I think apprehensive is understandable and advised.

Truth be told; I feel like a battered and wounded vet being sent back to the POW camp as a “guest”.

Upsetting, unnerving and disappointing.

I have to have a job. It’s what I do but I’m still not me. I have productive moments followed by bouts of swirling rooms and other scary symptoms.

Sure panic isn’t prevalent but anxiety has made itself at home.

I wait for the familiar ring of the alarm telling me its time to go to…….

To be determined


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